Sometimes when I'm alone I think about it And I feel the hair on my arm stand up It's been chasing me since I was young But I thought it would leave once old enough But after all these years now I know It will never give up I remember it all so clear, when I first saw it A sharp, toothy grin smilin' at me on the TV screen I was scared, I was terrified, and it's followed me Since then in the back of every dream I can't help help it It's part of who I am To think about such unpleasant things Gray and brown fur and terrible claws All the better to tear me apart Red and yellow eyes and horrible jaws All the better to rip out my heart Long sharp teeth in a smiling maw To remind me of what's been said And one day you're gonna catch me I know because You have always been inside my head Inside my head I can't help help it It's part of who I am To think about such unpleasant things

They said plenty of sleep helps to keep the mind intact They said it should be real good to stop the panic attacks But I don't know if I believe all that But plenty of sleep sounds nice Spend time with friends and maybe then I won't feel so low All of us do our best but the progress just feels so slow And I don't know what to think of that But plenty of sleep sounds nice And I don't know what to think of that But plenty of sleep sounds nice

Sometimes I think about my childhood Well, maybe not me, but all of my friends Privileged little shit heads, the lot of us With any luck we’ll never cross paths again There was Tim, his dad worked at the power plant Tim’s head looked like a Mr. Potato I would think to myself, if a meltdown occurred I’m just glad I didn’t live next to Tim in Palo Travis knew karate, or maybe taekwondo All that shit’s the same when you’re in the Midwest He was Asian and adopted with two loving white parents But one thing stood out about him above all the rest You see, me and Travis went to the same elementary school Then we didn’t see each other until a few years after high I was a looking for someone to buy me a 40 at the skatepark When I see Travis and his friends walking by I called out his name, hoping it was really him When he saw me he smiled and said, “holy shit.” We caught up for a while then he asked to see my board And man, he was still just the coolest motherfucker Because Asian Travis could kickflip I had other friends that I was closer with There was Heath, he moved away in second grade My mom still talks about how I never smiled as much after that When I learned that love alone can’t always make someone stay There was Jeff and there was Connor, and their nudist little brother I heard William grew up to be like six foot five Jeff lost a bunch of weight, and I’m sure Will is doing fine I don’t even care if Connor’s still alive Peter lived in Palo, too, with like 50 of his siblings His dad built radars for stealth bomber planes It never seemed that odd when we were both little kids But saying it out loud now feels kind of strange There was Scott on the new side of the neighborhood His dad didn’t let us practice dunks on their hoop AJ was kind of a pervert but had a trampoline and a pool And a Playstation, so he was still part of the group White Travis was white trash, and he could totally kick your ass He was from a rough family, and he was totally his father’s son After high school his dad fucked another of my friends’ moms And I was like, yeah that sounds like Travis, but not the cool one Cause Asian Travis can kickflip. There was Molly, there was Kelcy, both of them so unlucky To be my first crushes, bit of a stretch to call them ‘friends’ Molly’s dad was a cop and Kelcy disappeared from the planet I would die if I ever met either one of them again I’d play baseball with Gabe cause he lived next door His parents were religious, but they were pretty cool about it They moved to Kansas or something but before they left I found out they had spaceship part in the garage, no shit Levi, well Levi I still talk to He’s one the few from back then I keep in touch with anymore He taught me how to play the opening riff to “Seek & Destroy” Now we’re both older and even less cool than before Lannie taught me how to steal liquor from Walmart He showed me Fight Club, Fear and Loathing, and Nine Inch Nails He joined the Air Force, then I heard he kinda went off the deep end Like, the deep end that grows mushrooms and believes in chemtrails I had lots of friends growing up, some better than the rest I’m sure I’ve left some out, due to age or maybe all the alcohol I know I’ll only remember less with time But on my deathbed I know if I remember just one thing at all It’s that Asian Travis can kickflip

All I ever wanted to do Was sit outside and smoke those cigarettes with you All I ever wanted to do Was sit outside and smoke those nasty cigarettes with you Smoke those nasty cigarettes I am not dead just yet Just sit outside and smoke those nasty cigarettes with you

You were never comfortable with the quiet You were never comfortable at all Do you remember when you said "You will drown in your own pity Before your regrets ever bring back the dead." You were never comfortable with the quiet You were never comfortable at all I still hope You're comfortable now I hope you're comfortable now

You can tell me whatever you want You can fill my head with lies But the one lie I will never believe Is "everything will be alright" A friend said I shouldn't bit hands that feed That I shouldn't act so spitefully Well I told him I'd bite whatever hands I want If I think they're killing me You can tell me whatever you want You can fill my head with lies But the one lie I will never believe Is "everything will be alright" I swallowed the pills you put in my hand On that New Year's Eve Cause I just couldn't handle the sadness and pressure That were crushing me You can tell me whatever you want You can fill my head with lies But the one lie I will never believe Is "everything will be alright"

Sometimes when I'm alone I think about it And I feel the hair on my arm stand up It's been chasing me since I was young But I thought it would leave once old enough But after all these years now I know It will never give up I remember it all so clear, when I first saw it A sharp, toothy grin smilin' at me on the TV screen I was scared, I was terrified, and it's followed me Since then in the back of every dream I can't help help it It's part of who I am To think about such unpleasant things Gray and brown fur and terrible claws All the better to tear me apart Red and yellow eyes and horrible jaws All the better to rip out my heart Long sharp teeth in a smiling maw To remind me of what's been said And one day you're gonna catch me I know because You have always been inside my head Inside my head I can't help help it It's part of who I am To think about such unpleasant things